24th December 2005
Women are never happy with nice guys. Doug adores Cat and treats her extremely well, so what does she go and do? Have an affair with Tony. On Monday she is worried when she hears that Tony will be at the ball that she and Doug are attending, and on Tuesday hears from him that Doug knows all about it. On Wednesday she is therefore amazed and relieved when he appears to have forgiven her, and on Friday insists that she is turning over a new leaf. We can but hope that it applies as much to her dress sense as it does to her personality.
Joy of joys on Friday: Meredith sits alone at the bus-stop, after George chose Hector over her. Not a moment too soon. So, from Family Affairs, as they say in the movies:
That's all, folks. Thanks for the memories
17th December 2005
Everyone is building up to a really unhappy Christmas, not least because the show's demise is imminent, I suspect. On Monday Gary has a row with Chrissy over his relationship with Belinda, Roxanne won't make up with her boyfriend on Tuesday, and on Wednesday Eve breaks down during the nativity play, knowing that she may never be able to have children of her own. There is some good news on Thursday when Melanie turns up on Chrissy's doorstep, but that too turns sour on Friday, when Chrissy throws her out. Yuletide greetings to you, too.
10th December 2005
You can't help thinking that if Gary spent less money on hair gels, he would have enough to buy his family some decent Christmas presents. The same goes for Chrissy and her lip products. You could gloss the Eiffel Tower every week with the amount she goes through.
On Monday Gary takes out a loan to give them all a better Christmas, but on Thursday Belinda gives him £1,000, which on Friday he uses to buy presents and a tree. But there's no such thing as a free lunch, and, sure enough, Belinda wastes no time in moving in for a kiss. Gary, however, tells her that he is in love with Chrissy - even if treading a wall of ice is easier than sustaining a grip when he kisses those lips.
3rd December 2005
It's Sami's big day on Monday, and, as with all soap weddings, it is one to remember. As Sami listens to Yousef reminisce about his own wedding day, he locks eyes with Brett and decides that he can't got through with his convenience marriage to Shireen. Her response is to announce that he is gay and, following Sami's father's death, on Wednesday he is told to stay away from his funeral. His family don't mess around, though, and on Thursday Aamina gets her own back by stabbing him. Whatever happened to weddings where the most exciting thing was a vol au vent and a glass of Pomagne?
Cat is whingeing about her miserable life on Tuesday, but on Friday she discovers why Doug has been working so hard at the pub, when he presents her with two round the world cruise tickets. Let's hope she goes on another of her diets; they don't want another Titanic on their hands.
26th November 2005
I am very worried about the Costello family, who have to be the most unobservant people in any soap. This week, Gary insisted on doing the dishes in order to give Chrissy the best care he can. Gary - you didn't have to! Nobody has to! There's a whacking great dishwasher right under the sink!
"Nothing is going to happen," said Gary, ever the optimist. "I won't let it." Personally, I don't have much confidence that a man who can't locate an enormous kitchen appliance can control fate.
On Monday the couple have yet another major discussion about whether Chrissy should have the amnio. And just when life could not get any worse for them, on Thursday Chrissy receives a call from Chloe's school to say that she has been found drinking. To be honest, I'd hit the bottle if I were part of that family.